August 1st
Posted by Aaron Springer on August 1, 2010 under 34th Goals, General | 
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Weight: 411.2
Total loss to date: 8.8lbs
Goal distance: 111.2lbs
Well, after a weekend in B-ton, I gained about three pounds due to unhealthy eating. Oh well, you win some, you lose some.
Today would have been my eleventh anniversary with my ex-wife. I can say that now without pain or anger now that my first marriage is six years in my past. My daughter, Young Springer, is happy and at camp, and Mrs. Springer, my lovely wife, is blissfully asleep in the other room. I am considering making her some breakfast.
I look back now, in the wee hours of the morning, on my first attempt at wedded bliss, and at the results of that failure.
My first wife, who, for sake of identification, I will call Wife1, was about five years younger than I am now when we met. She was relatively young, inexperienced, and was still kicking her heels up and trying to have as much fun as possible. The unfortunate part was that this did not end when our marriage began.
Being the fearful and lonely person that I was, I agreed to almost anything to keep her. This was my major error in the marriage, and my contribution to the divorce.
It was not so much agreement as silence. I was silent when she smoked pot. I was silent when she slept with other men. I was silent when she decided to take a vacation after she had been unemployed for over a year. I was silent when she broke what few rules we had. When I had finally had enough, my previous silence out of fear of losing her had closed the door to communication between us. Simply put, she had lost respect for me.
As a matter of fact, it took her moving a man with whom she had an affair into our house over Christmas for me to say that I was at my limit.
That’s how far I let it go. That’s how much I could stand.
But, from it I learned that marriage was not about tolerance as much as cooperation. I should not have to tolerate my significant other. She should not have to tolerate me. We should be working together to commonly agreed upon goals. I learned that sexual freedom is not the opposite of commitment. I learned that before attraction, before chemistry, and before vows, there had to be trust.
To be blunt, I never trusted Wife1, and I payed for it with a broken home for our daughter. Luckily, my daughter now has ample role models, three complete sets of grandparents, and bushels of love. She has a half brother, and (hopefully) more half siblings on the way. She has a rich and diverse life that may not have been possible before.
She is her own person, one I am having a blast getting to know.
In the mean time, I have let go of my anger at past events with Wife1, and hope for the best for her. I have my own opinions about her current situation, but I feel no need to share them with anyone but the lovely Mrs. Springer.
And, even then, it’s not a topic of frequent conversation.
