May 15

Some thoughts on Multiple Sclerosis

Image courtesy of Morguefile

Image courtesy of Morguefile

Being handicapped, in a word, sucks.

Especially when it happens quickly or suddenly. In my case, it happened quickly. I went from walking normally to needing a cane in less than a year, and then to c-crutches in a few months. Now, I can’t leave the house without my extra legs, and there is little hope of being able to abandon them any time soon. Even with the c-crutches, I sometimes fall, like during commencement last week. Thankfully, the people at IUPUI are predominantly great people, and stopped to help. I am exceedingly grateful for that. I wish I could have spent more of the day on my feet than in a wheelchair, but I digress.

The condition I have is called Multiple Sclerosis. Simply put, I have scars in my brain and upper spine. If you’ve ever had a scar, you know that the tough tissue tends not to have much feeling. In the brain, scar tissue does not transmit neurochemical signals very well, causing a variety of problems.

The most visible issue is the problems with my left leg. I have a hard time lifting it, and the knee and ankle barely work. Sometimes, when I walk, my foot does not come back up, and I end up standing on my toes, or, even worse, on the top of my foot. It takes a bit of effort to keep from tumbling, and I don’t always make it.  Sometimes, I position my leg wrong (since I cannot feel where it is), and I tip over, like at commencement. Then there are times when I cannot even lift it enough to take a step forward. I’ve been frozen in place before.

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May 13

The road ahead

openingrode

Source: morguefile.com

Yesterday, I finished the saga that was my undergraduate degree. I had a lot of fun, fought a lot of battles, and even stepped on some toes. I made friends, and made art. I made games.

Now, it’s time to move on to the world of useful work. I’m intending to keep working on my game, Nova Astrum, and choose between the paths now open to me: general game design, education game design, writing, a graduate degree, maybe teaching eventually.

Thoughts?